Yaoi: Kissing Black Stars
by PervertedPriestess69
Summary: While in recovery Iruka had a lot to think about. Regret is a word he hated, but right now it was his closest friend.


Title: Kissing Black Stars

Author: Perverted Priestess 69

Pairing: Mentions of Iruka/Mizuki, Kakashi/Iruka

Rating: PG-13

Warnings: Angst and Contemplation, Speculation, Language

Summary: While in recovery Iruka had a lot to think about. Regret is a word he hated but right now it was his closest friend.

Iruka was in hellified pain both inside and out. His body spazmed around the angry wound that was viciously healing on his back. The very wound administered by his long time friend and lover Mizuki. He felt like a fool, laying there face down on his stomach, knowing he'd have to explain things eventually. He'd have to tell the Third how he let his head lead his judgment and almost got Naruto and possibly others killed. He'd have to bring up his deep relationship with Mizuki and how he'd gotten red flags but because of their intimacy he'd let them go unchecked and unexplored. Not that he was ashamed to have a same sex lover, it was the fact that Mizuki used him. He was hurt that someone so close to him, someone who knew that he had feelings for them twisted and used his good nature. He was so fucking angry at himself for letting this happen. He felt like an asshole and now everyone knew it.

"Fuuuck!" He said under his heavy labored breath as he tried to still the pain. He grimaced as his brain spun around all the drama that was due to ensue upon his full recovery. Iruka couldn't quite get it. Why did this have to happen now? Why did things have to go so god damn fast? He knew all that hung in the balance. He knew that he was placed where he was for a reason. His students, although lazy, self indulgent and irresponsible were among the best and brightest of Konohakure. They were his responsibility and he sent the embodiment of the destroyer of their village into a complete cluster fuck. He felt the pain wrenching at him. Mizuki did something to that shuriken, some spiteful and mean jutsu and now he could see Orochimaure's hold on him. He was almost inclined to believe that it was meant for him. Like Mizuki knew he'd fall on his sword for his students. Then that look of terror on Naruto's face flashed back into his memory. He tensed up and the pain came burrowing back into him. He jerked and flinched as the muscles in his back convulsed giving him the appearance of a baby not able to control their legs yet.

"Nurse. Nurse!" He called. The nurse came with no delay.

"Yes, I would like a painkiller or a muscle relaxer or something, please!" He asked twitching uncontrollably on the bed.

"Yes Iruka-san, I'll be back immediately." The nurse answered witnessing his pains. Moments later the nurse returned with his meds and gave them to him with some milk.

She waited at his side until he was done, taking the pill cup and milk cart away.

"Get well soon, Iruka-Sensei!" She said with a genial smile.

He thought it odd in a way that she would address him now as sensei when she hadn't done so after this long while but let the thought go as his spasms began again. He clutched his pillow as the thrash of the wound throbbed. He fought to steady his body's flailing to no avail, but as he tried he couldn't help that sinking feeling. That part of him that felt so small. Mizuki was all too sure about everything he would do. That meant Iruka was predictable, he was totally ordinary and had no spontaneity or individuality. And most of all he felt like a whore. This wasn't like him, the Hokage entrusted him and he wasn't sure he could take what the old man was going to do to him.

Iruka's mind was reeling and now he was tired from all its activity and the meds were kicking in. He needed to sleep and the pain in his back was beginning to subside. He closed his eyes for what seem like a few moments. When just then, there was a heavy lean on the side of his bed. He lifted his head and turned to look only to find half of his class had surrounded the bed. Naruto was kneeling right at his side with bright eyes and a smile rubbing the back of his head. More of the students stood at the door as they trailed into the hallway.

"Class... Uh wha-what are you all doing here?"

"We came to see how were healing Iruka-Sensei! Haha!" Naruto said rather enthusiastically loud.

"Naruto! Would you shut up! We're in a hospital, have some respect!" Sakura whispered punching Naruto as she knelt next to him.

"But how? They're very strict about letting in so many in at one time." He said with a groggy tone.

"Well, Kakashi-Sensei helped. He talked to the head nurse and she allowed us to come in for 15 minutes." Sasuke said leaned against the door with his arms folded as other students peered in from the hall and waved.

"Kakashi?" He said waving back. He could feel a heat raising up in his cheeks. He hadn't even thought about Kakashi and how this looked to him.

"Yeah, Kakashi-Sensei was already in the waiting room. You haven't seen him? We thought he had been in to see you already." Sakura added.

"Oh, you know what happened? I think it might have been the meds… I was a little out of it earlier." He said trying to temper the very meds he was lying about.

Iruka had to admit this was a cheer to his low spirits. The class brought him all sorts of things to pass the time: magazines, cards, shougi, balloons, toys, candy, cookies, flowers and sudoku puzzles, but there was something lifting in him. Something else making him feel good at this moment, someone was lifting his spirits without even being in the room. Kakashi was a good man and a good friend and he could only think that he'd be pissed at him which is why he wasn't in the room right now. Still, there was something there that made him feel cared for by the man. The nurse came to the door to inform everyone that their 15 minutes were up and began ushering the class out to the reception of aww's of disappointment .

Naruto sat looking at his now nodding teacher just a bit longer as he watched the other students leave the room. He bit his lip contemplating something.

"Uh Iruka-Sensei?" He said waking the nodding man. "Umm, I want you to have this." He said offering up his favorite little plushy frog. His cheeks colored in doing so.

"Thank you, Naruto. He'll keep me great company. I'll make sure he returns to you safe and sound, OK?" Iruka replied yawning cheerfully'

"No, I want you to have him. It's- it's for… Uh." Naruto said unsure of how to finish.

"Well in that case, I will treasure this Naruto! This makes me very happy!" He said.

Naruto's eyes lit up brighter than before. The nurse came back with Sakura looking for him.

"Naruto, come out of there we have to leave!" Sakura scowled low under her breath. Naruto began to stand when he leaned in and hugged Iruka.

"Bye, Iruka-Sensei" He said as he scurried toward the door.

"Naruto." Iruka called.

"Yes?" He answered.

"When I'm better, I think we should have a talk over some ramen. How does that sound?"

He suggested.

"Sounds great!" He said.

"Good, then see you soon!" He said waving at him. Naruto just waved and ran out calling out to the other kids loudly and being shushed down the hallway. Iruka just chuckled at the noise and laid Naruto's plushy under his head. The drowsiness was now consuming him and the pain in his back felt inexplicably good with the drugs working. His eyes closed this time not so susceptible to interruption. This time he was sleep hanging in a loose rim between the real world and slumber. A shadow appeared over him standing for moments. Then a bandaged hand came down to touching the man's face he stirred but didn't wake. He knelt next to, watching the man sleep. Kakashi didn't want to see him face to face. He didn't know what to say or what to feel. He was angry at him because Iruka chose Mizuki over him and the bastard betrayed him in the worst way. But at the same time he felt somewhat bad about feeling that way. It could have easily happened to anyone including him, but for someone like Iruka, vigilance should have been key. No matter who was lying in Iruka's bed. All these feelings left him swimming with emotions. He wasn't ready to see Iruka yet. He smiled at the picture of the man resting on top of a plushy and was lost in thought. He was stroking Iruka's head when he slipped his fingers through the man's ponytail freeing milk chocolate waves that fell around his face. He sat looking at all of Iruka's gifts from his students smiling underneath his mask when he was startled by a hand on his face. His breath caught when he saw Iruka reaching for him and he froze. The man's fingers moved over the mask finding the definition of his lips.

"Kakashi… I knew you- would come… I'm sorry." He apologized dazed and confused. His eyes were glassy as if he weren't sure what he was seeing was real and Kakashi was to afraid to stop him. His lips parted at Iruka's touch and he wasn't sure what to say to him.

"Please Kaka-kun… Please forgive me? Please.." He said as his fingers reached up to peel down Kakashi's mask. He pulled on the mask until their lips met. Their tongues greeted each other and Kakashi drank in their kiss. It felt like an eternity, their lips locked together, Iruka's apology sweet in his mouth. His desire rising, his finger tangling in the man's loose waves. Kakashi wanted so much to be angry with him but he knew his heart was pure, honest and even naïve. Oh God, he was a mess over Iruka and this felt like no one else existed, no one else mattered, just the two of them. His voice croaked a wanting moan when their lips fell away. Iruka's finger's tracing a memory of his lips with his fingers. The eyes wavered through a veil oh loose hair and not a word was said. He laid his head back on the his new plushy gift and was snoring as if he hadn't moved at all. Had Iruka been sleep all the while they were kissing? Kakashi stood quickly and backed a way from him. He felt his heart pounding at his chest and he shook angrily. He headed back for the window to exit when he remembered he also had a gift for him. A fortune cookie. He knew that he enjoyed them and didn't get them often. He turned and left it on the table with all his other gifts. He saw Iruka stirring again and disappeared from the way he entered.

Later on that night when Iruka found the drug's effect wearing thin he thought to take a chance at sitting up on the side of the bed. His hair was in a mess and he thought he most likely tossed frequently until his tie came loose. The pain was succinct now though still intense to a degree but nothing he couldn't handle. He began looking through the many gifts his lovely visitors brought for him when he saw it. A single fortune cookie and his tie from his hair. He sat uprightly and winced at his abrupt actions. He looked confused like he didn't know what to think. He touched his lips all the while racking his brain for answers as to what really happened. He picked up the fortune cookie, broke it open and read his fortune.

'May you find fortune where you need it most!'

Iruka began eating the cookie and thinking of the one who offered it as a gift to him. Wondering all the while, was the kiss he dreamt real? It was like he had seen shadows of stars or more to the point, black stars in his eyes. It felt so real, his body wanted it be real. He raked his mane as he searched for answers. He inevitably conceded that there may never be answers to what his heart most desired.

A/N: Well, like I had been discussing with others I had some speculation on some things about all three men. Iruka's real purpose, Kakashi's relation to both the men. Actually that part might be a little vague but yeah, there is allusion. I love Mizuki's evil and yet fine ass. He's a definite hot bitch! And I love Iruka and Kakashi as well! I drool over Kakashi he's so damn fine! And nao that I'm use to seeing him with no mask this girl just loves to oogle him daily. So much so he and Iruka are nao my screen saver. Oi! For me there are so many yummy pairings in Naruto that I might need a blood transfusion! Aye! And BTW, before anyone decide to ask no this isn't my first Naruto fic! I gotz tonz of them that haven't as much as been typed let alone to posted yet. Hopefully I'll get them up soon.


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